P.S. I can't hear my feet
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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