just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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