ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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