I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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