i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I could have mohawked her pubes.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
