I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
