well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize