I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
