dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
