I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Is it because I queefed?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Randomize
