I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
babies were throwing up all over the place
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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