Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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