Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
