she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
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Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
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She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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