Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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