had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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