last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
