Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
