it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Randomize
