The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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