I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
