Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
