That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
