i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize