my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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