Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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