I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize