You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
