oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
