im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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