Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
