i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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