i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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