We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
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