This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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