Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Green mimosas i think yes
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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