I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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