she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
