I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
