So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
