the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
you win again, gameday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize