i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
This toilet bowl is my home.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
