dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
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I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
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I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Can I color on your dick again?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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