he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
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