I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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