He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
