I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
