hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
