i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
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