i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
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