I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
My hand turned me down
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
