Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
he high fived his dick after we had sex
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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