omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Dicks are not precious.
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