Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
