Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
