therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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