If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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